Rest: Four Peaks, Postino and Mother's Day

I'm a rather proactive person. I continually am making, keeping and crossing off To-Do lists of all kinds: life to do's, education to do's, daily to do's, career to do's, etc. I enjoy getting things done. In consequence, I get upset when I don't get things done. So I think part of the reason I became so ridiculously bummed out (in the post below) was because I didn't get much done over the weekend. I did, however, have a lot of fun. I'm in much better spirits today so let's take a look at my girl's night, my Four Peaks all day binger and my Mother's Day celebration. They were all pretty darn swell!

Friday was girl's night, and although poor Lauri (my Oregonian friend) was home sick with a cold, Rhiannon and me enjoyed some direly needed girl talk over wine, bruschetta and ice cream at Postino Wine Cafe. Delish! 

 And then came Saturday. One of my favorite things to when I'm feeling lazy is to wake up and watch a movie. I typically get really emotionally involved with whatever film I'm watching and it ends up being a cathartic experience. So, after bawling my way through P.S. I Love You, I headed out to FourPeaks... which was only an innocent beginning to an entire day of drinking. Fun!

And that leaves us with Mother's Day. My brother, his girlfriend and her kids (twins- adorable) came over, and we all drank, cooked and told stories while the kids played in the swimming pool. Midway through the afternoon I realized that I should probably be nice to my future nieces, even though at that point I couldn't even remember their names. 

My yummy vegetarian feist

Our epic salad bar

Dad squaring off with the dog. I'm not sure which one of them is more stubborn...

Me and Momma!

Hope you all had a great Mother's Day! 

Rate: My life, confused

** DISCLAIMER: If you have never been to my blog before, don't start here! I usually don't go off on personal rants like I'm about to below. Start somewhere else like here or here. So really, you can skip this post. In fact, everyone can skip this post :)




I try not to make this thing too uber-personal. But I've got something on my mind that I probably won't say to anyone else, so I guess I'll just say it here.


Ever since I can remember I've kind of been the odd ball out. I tried to hang out with the popular kids in middle school, and they would let me into their huddle, but I wouldn't get their jokes and I would say something awkward-- my face would get warm and I'd soon walk away. It's not so much that I was nerd growing up, I was just never quite cool enough either. Story of my life.   My comedic timing has never been very punctual, and I always seem to get lost in my thoughts when I should be listening to the world tick around me. I don't think it's a bad thing-- God forbid I became another plain Jane more concerned with being pretty and likeable than being an individual.


The problem is, I was never quite one of the artsy kids either. I wanted to be artsy. I wanted to be creative, witty and idiosyncratic. But I never lived up to the other kids' genius creativity-- at least in my opinion. However as I've grown older, I've managed to just stick with the "do you" mindset and be content with my slightly out of sink habits. You are what you are so embrace it, right?


Well the point of all this is, I feel like I'm once again in that limbo. The career world brings me closer to the popular people-- the cool huddle-- and I am dying to find success. I know this sounds horrible, but I want to make money, I want to buy cute clothes, I want to make my parents proud and not have to ask them for another dime ever again. I want to buy them a vacation around the world. I want to have a cute house and buy another dog and lay Wii on a big flat screen. Oh God .... I sound like every other typical American. And that is what scares me.


And then there's the other side of the pendulum. My friends and acquaintances write in journals, they find (or take) the best photography, they know all the best bands, they have cute vintage clothing and amazing tattoos, they have houses filled with cheap artwork and magazines. They go to political rallies and concert and live impulsively and passionately.  I want to be like that again, but I don't want to serve tables either. And no, I don't think that this is just a part of growing up, so please don't tell me that. I've heard way too many middle aged men and women contemplate what happened to who they used to be. I don't want to be like them. I guess I just don't feel like myself lately. There's got to be some balance. But balancing takes time, and time is something I don't have. I wish I had more time.  So I've got to figure out how to make both sides of my divided personality happy, and I just don't know how.  I guess this is an oh-so-typical gripe, but life is often pretty typical and trite.


Alright, I'm done complaining. If you made it this far, thank you. I promise I won't bore you with my complaints again for a very, very long time.

Run: The silver-lining theory

I can't help but be an optimist. I've read and heard that it's smart to have little goals and little accomplishments before and after every run. It sounds like a trivial practice, but I am finding more and more that it's extremely rewarding. For instance, this week has been a little disheartening. I felt extremely motivated last time we spoke, and I was determined to begin increasing my mileage. However, I must remind you (and myself) that I am still getting used to my new work schedule, and am therefore feeling extremely busy and exhausted. Lo and behold, so far this week, my work outs have been extremely short.


So that's a bummer.


And then, enter silver-lining theory. I think I am finally becoming a habitual runner. Definition of habitual runner: Some one who can't stand missing a work out, who rarely makes excuses that actually stick, and who runs even when she's extremely tired, anxious, busy or apathetic. Although I may not be nearing my long-distance goals quite as quickly as I was hoping, I am proud of the fact that running has become something that I love more and more each day. Even though there's times when I dread putting on my Sauconys, the dread comes less and less. I no longer look at running as my newest form of exercise, but rather as something I cannot live without. I never thought I'd say this without a slight scoff, laugh or shrug, but yes, I am a runner.

Rest: May fever

What a great weekend. I do hate having every minute scheduled out, but you either embrace it or bust. So I had a great weekend. Saturday was filled with a SheKnows casting call and then babysitting for my other boss. Saturday was the AZ State Champ Crit which took place in Old Town, so we drank beers while cheering and taking pictures. Below or a few of the best moments. There's going to be some changes around here at theblondebullet, but until I get that all figured out, I leave you with these pics:

Just seconds before I dump my bloody mary all over my and Lauri's lap... sadly, I was still sober. Gooo Bike Haus!

 Mmm... Men in Spandex: AZ State Champ Criterium

Just testing out the photoshoot equipment

SheKnows casting call for a reality show on our website!